Over the last 12 years I have sustained numerous bumps, bruises, broken doors, dents in the car, holes in walls, and hurtful words. My family and friends often get concerned over the actions that some of the kids have displayed, rightfully so. The one question I get asked all the time is - Why? Why do you put up with it? The truth is, I don't put up with it, I love it. What?!!?! How can you love it? Let me explain myself.
Many of these kids have sustained major trauma. Just the event of being removed from their families, even if their situation was absolutely horrible, is traumatic to these kids. Add the fact that most of them are placed in numerous foster homes or tossed between family members and you have the perfect formula for behavior issues. Some of it is testing you, to see what you'll put up with. Some of it is learned behaviors. Some of it is because they don't know any better. And almost all of it is because they are getting attached, which scares them, which is why I welcome the behavior. Quite often, when you are experiencing behavior it means that the child/youth is getting comfortable to the point they are uncomfortable and try to push you away. Over the next few weeks I am going to talk about certain situations I have faced with my kids as well as provide some information that I have received through training. Quite often when I am with other foster parents one of the biggest topics is kids behaviors and how to handle them. They can be extremely complex and mind boggling sometimes but the most important ingredients to help the kids through it is love and patience. Join me as I take you on a journey through their eyes and mine.
Many of these kids have sustained major trauma. Just the event of being removed from their families, even if their situation was absolutely horrible, is traumatic to these kids. Add the fact that most of them are placed in numerous foster homes or tossed between family members and you have the perfect formula for behavior issues. Some of it is testing you, to see what you'll put up with. Some of it is learned behaviors. Some of it is because they don't know any better. And almost all of it is because they are getting attached, which scares them, which is why I welcome the behavior. Quite often, when you are experiencing behavior it means that the child/youth is getting comfortable to the point they are uncomfortable and try to push you away. Over the next few weeks I am going to talk about certain situations I have faced with my kids as well as provide some information that I have received through training. Quite often when I am with other foster parents one of the biggest topics is kids behaviors and how to handle them. They can be extremely complex and mind boggling sometimes but the most important ingredients to help the kids through it is love and patience. Join me as I take you on a journey through their eyes and mine.